Why Does Your Teenage Daughter Hate You and How to Fix It?

 

Parenting a teenage girl is a challenging job. You have given her all the support, care, love, and facilities. But now, in her teens, she started to hate you. I know that it feels worse than anything to go through this situation. But do you know what's happening with your teenage daughter that led her to such behavior? By getting aware of the causes of the issue, you can improve your relationship with your teen.

In this article, I explain why your teenage daughter "seems to hate" you.

Teenage Psychology and Changes

The teenage years are a period of great transformation in one's life. The hormonal changes, behavioral fluctuations, mood swings, and emotional disturbances are common in this phase.

The data published by the New York Times shows that the ratio of sadness in teenage girls is double that in boys. Three out of five teen girls faced persistent sadness every day and one out of three considered committing suicide. These shocking stats uncover the emotional disturbances in teenage girls.

• Your teenage girl doesn't have control over her emotions. Over time, she'll learn how to handle her emotions and relationships.
• Your teenage girl is trying for independence in her actions and decisions. You, as a parent, might be advising her about right the wrong. But she wants to experience new boundaries take some risks and practice new ideas in this age. You may try to limit her. But don't do it. Let her make some mistakes to get experience on her own. It will make her realize that she is being valued and accepted.
• Teens are in the process of self-discovery. They push the boundaries/limits and want independence from parents and social boundaries. They try to build their unique identity. That's why your teens may be approaching things differently than you. It can lead to misunderstandings and an increased gap between you and your teen.

Does She Actually Hate You?

Most of the time your teen doesn't actually hate you but then why does she say such? The answer is simple:

  1. Consider that she had a fight or any other bad experience at her school or work or any clash with her friends. It made her upset and sad. When she came home you asked something like "How was your day?" Or "What would you like to take now?" and she simply gave a bad facial expression at you and said some hating words like "Don't talk to me?" Or "What the hell I'm in here?". In this scenario, she doesn't hate you. Then why such an attitude? It's because she couldn't express her anger at her friends or colleagues knowing that they would respond to her in the same way. But on the other hand, considering you the easy target, she knows that you are and will be with her not much matter what she says or does. In this case, there is no error at your end but it's a common behavior of teenagers. You don't need to worry about it.

  2. Secondly, she might be saying or showing hate to get your attention and care for the mental, social, or physical issues she has been facing. It's just a kind of signal or a call for help. Try to understand her and her perspectives to help her and deal with her effectively she is crying for help not fighting with you. She wants to be listened to. She wants to be valued and accepted.

Change Your Way of Parenting

At times, it might not be a type of common or natural behavior of this age. But some parenting mistakes might be from your side. What these mistakes could be? It may include comparing her with others of her age. Don't giving her the independence to follow her passions and profession of her own choice. Don't believing in her. Disrespectfully dealing with her considering her a child. You have to respect her personality, opinions, and perspectives even if you don't fully agree with her. Giving her age-appropriate values and respect can make her trust you and share her feelings and plans with you.

What can you do? Some Tips

Here is a list of some tips for getting the situation improved for you.

1. Openly Communicate with her and let her feel free to discuss all her problems with you. Better communication can help understand each other perspectives and concerns.
2. Be Empathetic and don't be so strict that she doesn't feel easy talking to you.
3. Be Supportive. Teens need support and acceptance and she may fight with you calling for help and support.
4. Manage Your Emotions. Don't yell at her if he does at you because fire is controlled by water not by fire. Caring can bring some positive outcomes.
5. Encourage Responsibility. Allow her to make decisions and if she gets a loss. It will give an experience and surely will not affect her in the long run. You can prevent her if she is getting involved in something really dangerous.
6. Stay Positive that it is not just your teenage girl who is doing this. All teens go through such behavioral changes. And you, in your teens, also have done this.
7. Seek Professional help. If your teenage daughter's behavior is posing a really serious challenge and after making all possible efforts, you couldn't get it better. You can also seek guidance and help from experts.

Read also: How to Deal With a Teenager That Doesn't Care?

The Last Say (Conclusion)

I have given a general overview of the whole problem you can apply it to find your teens' challenges more specifically. Do listen to her, communicate, and validate her point of view. Also, check if something is on your side and take patience. It will take time to build a stronger and healthier relationship between you and your teen.

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is it normal for teenagers to express dislike for their parents?

Yes, it is common for teenagers to go through a period when they show dislike or resentment towards their parents. This is often part of their desire for independence and trying to understand their feelings.

What should I do if my daughter refuses to talk to me?

Give her some time and space, and don't force her to talk. You can try to connect in non-intrusive ways, such as leaving a note or sending a message showing that you're ready to talk to her whenever she's ready.

Is it okay to apologize to my daughter for my mistake?

Yes, it is. Apologizing shows that you respect her feelings and are willing to take responsibility for your mistakes. It models healthy conflict resolution and can strengthen your relationship.